So I say, give up your religious dreams that may be in reality, your own desires for personal gratification, affirmation, and a sense of accomplishment.  Renounce the right to accomplish these.  That is what dead people do – except they do it involuntarily.  You, however must do it willingly as a living sacrifice.

Sometimes you have to give up the right to have the rights others seem to have.  Life is not fair – and thank God for that.  Because if life were fair you would be in prison, the grave, or living in torment. 

2 Corinthians 1:21-22   Now he which stablisheth us with you in Christ, and hath anointed us, is God; Who hath also sealed us, and given the earnest of the Spirit in our hearts.

Ephesians 1:13   In whom ye also trusted, after that ye heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation: in whom also after that ye believed, ye were sealed with that holy Spirit of promise,

Ephesians 4:30   And grieve not the holy Spirit of God, whereby ye are sealed unto the day of redemption.

I not only have a seal (The Holy Ghost), but The Lord and I have a special sign.  Whenever you have a special sign between two people others may see it but may not know what it means. 

Exodus 13:1-10 says that I have a sign on my hand and between my eyes when I keep The Passover and The Feast of Unleavened Bread.  It is also a sign between God and I when we keep His Sabbaths (which include all His feast days as well as the seventh day Sabbath) . 

Exodus 31:12-18   Speak thou also unto the children of Israel, saying, Verily my sabbaths ye shall keep: for it is a sign between me and you throughout your generations; that ye may know that I am the LORD that doth sanctify you … It is a sign between me and the children of Israel for ever: for in six days the LORD made heaven and earth, and on the seventh day he rested, and was refreshed.

Ezekiel 20:11-13   … Moreover also I gave them my sabbaths, to be a sign between me and them, that they might know that I am the LORD that sanctify them…

Ezekiel 20:19-20   I am the LORD your God; walk in my statutes, and keep my judgments, and do them; And hallow my sabbaths; and they shall be a sign between me and you, that ye may know that I am the LORD your God.

So just because God is merciful and rains on the just as well as the unjust ^{Matt 5:44-48} does not mean these people have a special place with God above or closer than we who keep the Lord’s Sabbaths.  So just like a father whose career or calling it is to help save troubled youth, that father’s children should not be resentful or jealous of those youth because he is only doing acts of mercy, his calling, or even his job.  Even though there is a passion and calling to help those children that are not biologically related to him, there is always a deeper and unbreakable bond between the father and his own children.  And if the father had to choose between being able to help the unrelated troubled youth and his own child, he will always choose his child whom He loves like no one else.  If need be, that father will leave those troubled youth – though there be many – to spend day and night at the hospital with his sick child.  But he will never abandon his own child in need to help those other children who may also be in need.  At least not a true father who really loves his child.

So don’t be jealous when God blesses others who are not seeking him or obeying Him to the extent that you are.  Don’t feel cheated when he pursues with lovingkindness ^{Jer 31:3} and mercy ^{Rom 2:4} those whom He is trying to draw.  It is all a part of the wonderful character of God.  After all – it is because of The Lord’s mercies that they are not consumed ^{Lam 3:22}.  And perhaps it is because of your prayers for them as well.  It is the goodness of God that brings anyone to repentance.

Remember who you are in God and what you mean to Him.  You are special to Him.  You have a special place in God that those who  settle for a form of religion, could never have.  Your name is written on His hand ^{Isa 49:16}.  You are that special to Him.

So just appreciate the mercy of God and do not become jealous because of it.  After all, it served you well one day.  And truth be told, it still does.

 Step 12:  We, having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, try to carry this message to others who think that Christians are better than everyone else.

     “Be perfect and everyone will want to be like us,” or so we thought. To a certain extent, this impression is a witnessing strategy gone awry.  This perpetuation of a high and holy example at any cost—even the cost of honesty—has become our cherished witness in the world and one of our biggest mistakes.  Actually, most non-Christians couldn’t care less whether we do or don’t do what they do.  They will make a deal about it only because we make a deal about it, and they like catching us in our own traps. 

     What we think is witnessing is not witnessing at all.  It’s what the advertising world calls branding.  Branding is what identities a product or a service and sets it apart in an easily recognizable manner.  True witnessing is nothing more than telling somebody about Jesus.  One is an image, the other is a message.  One is conjured up, the other is simply shared.  The Gospel is just what it is:  good news for sinners.  The only people who should be offended by it are people who can’t admit their sin.   When we perpetuate this high and holy model of leadership and Christian life, we’re just too high up to relate to anyone but ourselves.  ^{1 Cor 6:9-11; 2 Cor 3:1-6; Jer 31:3; John 1:11-13}

     Our greatest witness to the world is to show and tell how much we need Jesus (not how much they need Jesus).  If we were perfect we wouldn’t need Jesus.  When anyone gets close to us, they should discover our secret.  We are just like anyone else, but for Christ.  Many Christians believe the real work of facing sin and forgiveness is something to be done in private so that we can present to the world, not the process, but the finished product… when all along the world probably would just as likely respond to an average guy.

     Being saved is better than being better.  Somehow, we’ve got to get the spotlight off pharisaical self-righteousness and back on the gospel.  ^{John 12:32; Jer 31:3;}

 Step 11: We choose to rid ourselves of any attitude that is not bathed in gratitude.

     The giving of thanks is the only logical response one can have to a forgiveness and a holiness that are totally undeserved.  Thankfulness is so tied to grace that the absence of gratitude in a Christian’s life is an indication that legalism still rules the day. Gifts are contrary to the pharisaical spirit, which trusts only in what has been earned.  It means that the person who receives must become vulnerable to the Giver.  Even our reward at the end of the journey will come as a thankful surprise, because we will have become so well acquainted with our sins and shortcomings along the way that we will not be expecting it.    ^{Heb 11: 1-2, 32-40; Psa 30:11-12}

     For the Pharisees who have earned their own right standing, there is no one to thank—no one, of course, but themselves.  One is thankful only for that which one does not deserve.  No one craves more when he is grateful for what he has.  Thankfulness conquers selfish ambition.  For this reason, giving thanks is one of the most valuable tools a recovering Pharisee has in fighting pharisaical attitudes.  You are simply glad to be counted among the saved.      ^{Jam 3:16; Phil 4:11; 1 Thes 5:18; 1 Tim 1:12}

     You don’t have to protect your image when you are already number one with God.   You don’t have to hide your sin when you have received God’s forgiveness.  You don’t have to be full of yourself when you are thankful that God has filled you up with Himself.  [Even when others prosper from your spiritual efforts] … I start by being thankful that the message has gone out and has helped so many people.   ^{1 Cor 3:6; Phil 1:15-19; Eph 1:3-7; 3:1-9}

 Step 10:  We embrace the state of astonishment as a permanent and glorious reality.

     The only way to save a Pharisee is to break a Pharisee’s back with the burden of law.  There was, and is, hope for the Pharisee, and that hope comes in the form of failure.  Failure is the doorway to freedom.  It is realizing that the true demands of righteousness are beyond reach.  In other words, righteousness can only come via the Spirit of God and only to forgiven sinners who have claimed total spiritual bankruptcy. It is only the spiritually bankrupt, the sorrowful, the humble, and the unrighteous who get the blessing.   ^{Jam 2:10; Gal 3:10; Matt 5:3-6}

     That’s what the law was for in the first place, to show us up for who we really are.  I was the poor, sad sinner Jesus was talking about, and that could mean only one thing: I was blessed.  My loss was my gain.  This is when the surprise hits, and it is completely paradoxical to the way we have though and operated all or lives.  We give up and we get it.  We lose and we win.  Suddenly we realize that the Sermon on the Mount was all about us.  ^{Matt 5;   Gal 3:24}

     From childhood on, we have always earned our place in life.  We have learned that good performances are rewarded and poor performances are punished.  All false gospels are based on works because that’s what we’re after.  The gift of salvation is simply too preposterous for our imagination.  Even if you wanted to contribute to your righteousness, you couldn’t.  Anything more than this is arrogance.  Pharisees think they deserve their place in the spiritual hierarchy.  Recovering Pharisees can’t believe they even get a place at all.  For all practical purposes this shouldn’t be happening.  Treasures are never put in such common containers.    But their usefulness is not in their beauty, but in what they carry.  There is nothing in us that would indicate why God would choose us over any other vessel.  We can only be amazed as anyone.  ^{Rom 9; 10:4; 2 Cor 4:7; 2 Tim 2:20-21;}

     Astonishment comes from being surprised.  Unfortunately, those who are counting on their own righteousness are missing out on the surprise.  If anything, their surprise will come in not having their works accepted.  Our degree of astonishment is related to our personal knowledge of sin.  If I do not continue to face the sin in my life, I am not likely to be very impressed with my salvation.  Our worship is in the form of astonishment.  What could I possibly have done to deserve this?    ^{Psa 8; Ezek 16:1-15; Eph 2:8-9; Matt 7:21-23}

 Step 9:  We are seeking through prayer and meditation to make a conscious effort to consider others better than ourselves.

     If we make the things that we excel in, even for one moment, the defining moments of our lives, we may get a false sense of our importance.  And if we use this expertise as proof of our worth, we are only getting part of the story.  Pharisees cast blame; recovering Pharisees take blame.  Jesus would have taken it.  That is what His cross was all about.  ^{Prov 16:2; 1 Cor 15:9; 4:4-5; Luke 18:9-14; Matt 23:23-39}

     Instead of putting people down, we put them up, and we do this by taking a secondary, supportive role to those around us.  This is not a false groveling humility; it is a way of considering others that elevates them.  It’s all about learning to appreciate those around us and giving validity to their opinions and points of view.  There’s one sure way to consider other people as better than yourself and that is to truly believe that they are.  Because you see yourself as the “least of the least,” the other guy is always better than you.  Another way to do this is to see other people not as what they are but as what they could be in Christ.  When we see others as they could be in Christ, we are creating an environment for it to be so.   ^{Phil 2:3-4; 4:8; 1 Cor 1:27; 12:18-27; 13:4-7;}

     If a Pharisee wants to recover, a good place to begin would be to look up to those he or she formerly would have judged.  ^{Jonah 3-4; Matt 18:4-7, 23-35}

 Step 8:  We are looking closely at the lives of famous men and women of the Bible who turned out to be ordinary sinners like us.

     I grew up on Bible stories.  We celebrated these bible heroes every week in church.  But at some point, I found out the rest of the story, and the rest of the story was not so good.  Did finding out about these human weaknesses and sinful lapses endanger my faith?  No. Instead of losing heart, I gained it.  I was simply relieved to find out how human and infallible these people were after all.  I saw them in a different light because I was learning that God operates through human imperfection.  Our lives are not built on laws and principles; they are built on a consistent, compassionate God who somehow works in and around our human failures to work His perfect will in our imperfect lives.     ^{Heb 11; 1 Cor 1:27-29; Luke 10:1, 17-20}

     If the Bible tells the whole story, then we need to tell the whole story, too, about our own lives.  We get it right sometimes and we get it wrong sometimes.  But when we get it right, it is because we are depending on God’s strength and presence in our lives, not on anything in and of ourselves. ^{Num 20:7-12; 1 Chr 22:7-9; Psa 119:5; Isa 48:11; Jam 4:6;}

     The stories of The Bible read like our lives and give us courage, not because they are about great people whom we admire, but because they are about ordinary people who have a great God.  ^{Rom 7:18; Phil 4:13; Zech 4:6; Matt 23:12; 2 Cor 12:9;}